Parenthood: Year 1

My sweet girl, watching you grow and learn new things in this past year has been an amazing journey.  We are so thankful to have you in our lives and to have been here to experience it all with you, the good, the bad, and everything in between.  But the truth is, you're not the only one learning each day.  I, too, have grown and changed over the past year and though you don't know it, you teach me how to be a better person and how to be the best parent I can be.  The list is endless, but here are a few of the major takeaways from the past year:

Patience, patience, patience.  And more patience.  I've never considered patience to be one of my strengths.  I think your father would agree.  When I want something done, I want it done now.  But I have had to learn to overcome that and take a deep breath and do whatever it is we're doing with a smile.

Each day is a fresh start.  This strategy helped me tremendously in the first few months.  Each hard day is followed by a (comparatively) easy one, and I try to wake up each morning with a positive attitude and approach the day with a clean slate no matter what.

There are as many opinions as there are people and it is okay to only do as much or as little as I'm comfortable with.  There is no one solution that is the right answer for everyone.

I've always been a bit of a pushover, but I've learned how to tell people:  here's what works for me.  Particularly when it comes to making plans and working with an infant's schedule, it helps to just speak up and make a decision.

I will never be comfortable with getting my boobs out in public.

It's okay to let food go to waste.

There is no sound in the world better than baby laughter.

When in doubt, always go with the bigger size.

Trust my instincts.  It's hard to trust that you know what's right, especially in the early months, but generally speaking, I feel like Daddy and I have always made the right choices, even if it felt like we were stumbling through at the time.

I know you better than anyone else and I am confident that I know what's best for you.  I don't know if I would have realized this on my own, but a mommy friend of mine summed this up for me early on and I agree 100%.

Things will never go as planned.

It is an amazing feeling to have someone so happy to see you each and every day.  I know that your father loves me dearly, but even he has never squealed with delight when he wakes up to see my face in the morning.

We struggle with sleep.  We do.  That's our thing.  Everyone will say "your baby should be doing this thing by this age."  But when I get down to it, every parent I know struggles with sleep.  I suspect that these magic sleeping babies that everyone talks about are really a myth.  And if there are by some chance a few random babies that actually do sleep that well, I'm sure that they struggle with something else.

I'm a counter.  This isn't really a surprise to me, but I now know I count more than I thought.  I count each rock when I rock you in the glider.  Each bounce when I bounce you in my arms.  I count the seconds after you fall asleep before I sneak out of the room.  Mostly whatever I am doing to help you sleep, I count.

Sometimes parenthood means you do things you thought you never would.  I swore I would never let my child sleep in our bed, but when you're up for the 3rd or 4th (or more) time at 3:00 in the morning, those rules go right out the window.

I don't judge other parents.  We're all doing the best we can.  As long as they love and care for their children, I know that the way they do things may not be the same way I do things, but it's what's working for them, and that's okay.

I'm not so much bothered by poop or vomit anymore.  I've pretty much been covered in both at this point and it's just part of life.

When you were about 10 weeks old I forced myself to find a way to meet other mommies.  I found a group online that met for lunch on Wednesdays in the park.  Forcing myself to go the first time was completely out of my comfort zone, but it was one of the best decisions I've made in the past year.  I have plenty of friends and family with children, but there's something about having a local network of friends going through the same things at the same time as you that is invaluable.

Finally, every parent is certain that their baby is the most beautiful baby in the world.  Ours really is.