2019 was quite the roller coaster for our family so I am feeling pleased to bid it farewell and welcome 2020 with optimism. You have been amazing as always. Your reading skills leave me in absolute awe and I am blown away by how many books you've read this year. Your love of dance continues to grow and I love that you have something you really truly enjoy. Even if that means I sometimes have to declare THERE IS NO DANCING IN THE GROCERY STORE. I would say you have not shown quite the same passion for piano, but I am glad you are trying it and hope you will learn to understand that some things take practice and hard work to succeed.
Daddy's new job at Fractal has been a positive change and I think it will continue to evolve over time. He was gone most of the summer but I think you and I managed quite well and we have figured out our own routine for when it's just the 2 of us. He's had his share of frustrations but I think he is happy with the change and optimistic about where things are headed. I admit I was the one most skeptical when this opportunity arose, but I will also clarify that I have always been supportive of him in whatever professional path he has chosen.
I started out the year on a high note with my half marathon in February. I finished 6 minutes under my time for 2008 which I was really proud of. We made some upgrades in the kitchen (goodbye tile countertops!) and the front yard. Daddy and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary. I lost almost 10 pounds. We spent a week at Aunt Brandee's house and a week in Kauai. I continue to volunteer as room parent for your class and also added school library volunteer this fall and I'm loving it. I met a new Mom friend from school who I really adore and we have even started hiking together when our schedules allow.
On the flip side, I've probably spent more time at doctors this year than even during pregnancy. When I started hearing words like biopsy and surgery it really made me do some thinking about my own mortality and my place in the world. When you told Daddy you were afraid I was going to die it broke my heart and hugging you goodbye before I left for the hospital for surgery was excruciating. I am sitting here with tears in my eyes now just remembering that day.
I’ve spent the last 6 months trying to get the dosage figured out for my medication which I now have to take to replace the thyroid hormone. This means lots of blood tests and lots of ups and downs. At times I felt like I was barely functioning as a human. You were so understanding and caring and patient with me. Lots of naps. So many naps. There was a period in the fall when I had to take time to nap after lunch every day just so I could manage to drive to school to pick you up at the end of the day. We still don’t have the dosage completely figured out yet, but it’s a lot closer than where I started and I am feeling at least mostly normal now.
So as we enter 2020 I am looking ahead with a positive outlook. Hoping for more of the good, less of the bad. I expect you will continue to excel in everything you do, and know that even if you don't, I will always love and support you no matter what. I hope we all stay a little more healthy this year. I feel a little more humble. A little more grateful. And very motivated to make the most of every day, in whatever way feels right. Some days that may just mean letting the dirty dishes pile up or curling up on the couch with a book. And that's okay.
No comments:
Post a Comment